I think my friend might be overstepping boundaries with my partner.

I think my friend might be overstepping boundaries with my partner.

I am a 26-year-old female and my partner is a 26-year-old male and have been dating for almost a year. Everything about our relationship has been great, in my opinion. There is one thing, however, that has been bothering me. For starters, let’s call my partner Moe. Moe is the kind of guy who gets along very easily with females and has a lot of female friends. I am generally quite secure, so I don’t mind this and also get along with his female friends when we hang out. There is, however, this one girl who is kind of giving me weird vibes and I want to know if I am overreacting.

Let’s call this girl Angel, who is a 31-year-old female. Angel is the roommate of Moe’s younger sister, Ree, who is a 25-year-old female. At first, Moe and I would hang out with Angel when we went to bars for drinks with Ree. Eventually, she started joining all of our family dinners too. Like I said, I was fine with it. Angel seemed nice enough, so I didn’t see anything wrong with her joining.

Red flags would go off in my head because Angel started texting Moe regularly. I never asked to see the texts and told myself that I was overthinking it. I trusted Moe wouldn’t do anything out of line, but I also felt like Angel was being a little disrespectful by constantly texting my partner when she herself was engaged (her partner has been in a different state the whole time).

When we were hanging out at restaurants and bars, I also felt like Angel was always talking to Moe only and just leaving me out of the conversation. Angle is American and so is one side of Moe’s family. Angel is also Hispanic and Moe appreciates a lot of hispanic food and culture. He also has a lot of hispanic friends, and so he has a lot in common with Angel. Since they had so much in common, and I really didn’t have much in common with Angel, I felt like I had no reason to be upset, even though I did feel uncomfortable about it.

Whenever we went out clubbing, Angel would also try and stick by Moe’s side. I remember Moe, Angel, myself and a few of our friends were dancing a couple of times in clubs and Angel was always next to Moe. One thing that I found really reassuring was that Moe would always pull me in to give me a twirl once in a while when he noticed I was a little distance away because Angel was right next to him.

A few weeks ago, Moe left to go back to his college in another state to study for his PhD. A few months before that, things were getting hectic as he was getting ready to go back. We started listening to the Harry Potter audiobooks at night before bed because we both enjoyed the series, and it was something nice to do together. Sometimes we would go out for dinner and if it was getting late, Moe would turn to me and say, do you want to go home and listen to some Harry Potter? At first, Angle was like “um is that code for something?” I thought that was a strange response, so I would tell her no, we just enjoyed listening to Harry Potter and thought nothing more of it. She started saying things like “Geesh, just say you want to go home and bone”.

One night, Moe had gone to have drinks with Ree and, of course, Angel was there. I had chosen not to go because I had other stuff to do. When he came home, he told me that the three of them were casually discussing s3xual things and Angel freaked out when Moe told her we didn’t use condoms because we loved each other very much. I don’t know if this is something I should actually be concerned about, because why did she feel like she needed to freak out or does it concern her so much? Apparently, the chances of us getting pregnant concern Angel. I just think that it was weird that she freaked out with Moe but never brought it up again with me when I was hanging out with her after that occasion. Like if it’s so important, why not talk to me about it?

On one of the last few days while Moe was still here, Angel did a few more things that stood out to me, like she gave him bread called a Concha while I was there. Just one, for him. When we came home, he split it with me, and it was good, but it felt weird eating it because I feel like she meant that as a gift for just him. Moe also wanted to hang out with Ree one on one and have a nice talk with just his sister and himself. Later, when he got back from his hangout with Ree, he told me that Angel had also invited herself because “she really wanted to go”. At one of the last dinners together, Moe turned to me at the end of the meal and said, “want to go home and watch more of that show we were watching yesterday?” and again Angel straight up said “ugh, just say you want to go home and do the nasty”. Moe didn’t mean it that way and, in my opinion, he didn’t say it in a way that suggested anything other than watching a movie. It just feels like she almost 

obsesses over the idea of us having s3x, and I am confused and don’t know how to feel about it.

A few days ago, I video called Moe who was already in the state where his college is, and I took a photo of the laptop screen showing both of us side by side and sent it to a few friends via snap chat, one of them being Angel. I noticed Angel immediately opened my snap and then a few seconds later, Moe gets a notification on his phone. He looks down and says oh, it’s Angel. I didn’t say anything, but my gut instinct was telling me this was weird.

Moe also told me a few times that he was amazed by how secure and independent I was throughout our relationship, but actually I do notice these things, and they do bother me a little, but maybe they shouldn’t? Am I overreacting?

What’s your opinion 🤨?